For the record this is my blog and if you can't stand complaining WARNING: Stop Reading This Now!!!
There, I gave you plenty of warning because that is exactly what I want to do. I could probably write a mile long list if I really wanted to but we will just see how the flow goes....
So, this is probably the most stressful and painful season I have ever been in. Let's start with the physcial problems. I am pregnant with my third child. I have a one year old and a two year old. Right before I found out I was pregnant I started getting this horrible cramp in the left side of my butt. It was so bad I was crying trying to get in our truck for a date night. It happened a couple of times throughout a couple of weeks and then it got so bad that it got to where by the end of every single evening I was in horrible pain and couldn't walk. This results in not being able to do anything. And it is by no means a break and just getting to sit around. The pain is constant and I would much rather be cleaning a house top to bottom and changing a hundred diapers. I literally am not able to do anything when it gets that bad. So it started happening every night and I finally went to the chiropractor. It took awhile to actually go because we just frankly didn't have the money but I couldn't go on not being able to function. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and I have been going every week since I started going. That's $20 a week. Which we absolutely can't really afford but at the same time it's like what do we do? I can't just not be able to function every day. It had gotten better where it wasn't every day but here lately it seems to be getting worse. And the doctor has told me that until I have this baby it's more than likely not going to get better any time soon because the bigger I get the more pressure it puts on my nerve. So frustrating...
I am honestly beginning to worry what's going to happen when I get a little further into my pregnancy. I am scared that it's going to get worse and I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation. It starts hurting when I've done the least bit of housework and sometimes I just wake up and it's already hurting. And there's no warning either. Once my back starts hurting I know that by the end of day I'm going to be limping along. I have been praying over this situation constantly and I don't plan on stopping. I NEED this to go away. I can't function as a wife, a mother, or even a human when I start hurting.
Now I've realized that one complaint is already a good read so I just may split my complaining up into different entries. I have a feeling I will be having this stress load for quite awhile so I will definitely need to vent. So here it is. Entry number 1 on complaining. And again, my blog, my life. And this is definitely a HUGE part of my life right now. So sorry if you are reading this and having to listen to me complain. There's a lot more where this came from :)
So what I can tell you is this:
ReplyDeleteThere was ALWAYS that part where I felt the same way. Mine wasn't a pain in the butt (that sounds so funny by the way), but it was more like an over-all exhaustion that settled deep into my bones. Yes, there were pains and everything along with that. And I would get about half way, and I wouldn't be able to do anything anymore.
All I can say is, now Astin is 6 months old, and my house is starting to get cleaned again. Im still exhausted, but little by little I have more energy. So my point is, I am 6 months after birth, and those last few months of pregnancy are a distant memory. We don't really remember the mess. I mean, I know it was there, but it doesn't impact my life now. The pains are about gone, and the hardest points of the pregnancy have nothing to do with me now.
So basically i'm saying to just let yourself off the hook. Spend time with your kids, get a load of laundry going each day if you can, and with the rest, do your best. Even if your best is not good enough, this won't last forever and in a year, none of this will matter. None of the mess or pain will be of relevance. It's annoying now, especially if you have a clean-freak husband like me, but these days are just a blip.
Just accept that this is what your life looks like right now, while continuing to pray for healing. It is amazing how time flies after you have a baby, and you'll be up and at 'em in no time.
To sum it up: These stressful times will soon pass, even if they seem to crawl at the time. And once they do pass, they will not affect your life afterwards. So relax! :)
I'm praying for you too and I'm here if you need me. I'm also praying that you will be willing to not only accept, but be willing to ask for help. Even when you feel like you shouldn't need it. We love you (and I PROMISE it's not just because you have cute babies) and surely between the girls and I we can help you get the house cleaned or give you a break by babysitting, but we need you to let us know when you need help and how we can best help you. YOu don't have to go through this alone. Love you bunches!
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