An Aching Heart

My heart is breaking. Not so much for what I feel but for what was lost. Yesterday morning I walk in to church and find out that someone I knew was killed in a boating accident. I had worked with this girl a few years back, went to some church functions together and just last week was sitting and laughing with her at a ballgame. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. She was my age. Not married but she was a woman going after God. That should help the sadness right? It doesn't. This wasn't even someone I talked to on a regular basis but I felt I could barely keep it together. I was sitting in praise and worship and all I could think was why God? She's my age. She didn't get the chance to really live. She really was loved by so many. She was one of those always laughing and smiling. I wake up this morning and nothing looks the same. All I can think is it could've been me. It could be any of us. And if I was to go today, would I felt as if I had lived my life up to par? Have I done everything I can possibly do to give my life to God completely. Do I even have that much faith to live the exact way He has asked me to?